My Boyz and Me: June 2019

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

10 years! Happy Gotcha Day, Elijah!

Over ten years ago, in an orphanage in Novosibirsk, Russia (Siberia region), a little boy lived, one of many children with Down syndrome, that were placed there, by their biological parents. Because of his diagnoses, they felt and most likely were pressured into thinking, that they could not take care of him. His name was Denis (pronounced Denise, in Russia). He was a beautiful baby boy, and extremely smart. It's too bad, that they didn't choose to keep him, because they have missed out on a precious little life. Fast forward, 2+ years later, a single Mom would be given the chance to become his mother. That woman was me. I was the lucky lady who was granted permission to be his mother. This beautiful, funny, sweet, and smart little bundle of joy is so precious. Honestly, it was love at first sight! I named his Elijah Nikolai. I brought him home, and he has flourished in our family, goes to school, and is quite independent. He's helpful, playful, and very creative. He's actually a dream child, no behavior problems at all. He is a JOY. Over the years, especially on his birthday and on Mother's Day, I would find myself thinking of his biological mother and wondering, does she miss him? Does she grieve for the little boy, that she gave up? I didn't know much about her, except that she ran her own business, and that she had an older son Max, who was 10, when Elijah was born. I did have her birthday and I had her name, so after a lot of thought and prayer, I decided to see if I could find her.
It didn't take long, after I created an account on a Russian FB site. I looked at her pictures and couldn't believe I was looking at the woman, who gave birth to my child. My heart was racing, and I debated if I should reach out to her. What if she didn't want to hear from me? What if she just wanted to forget it all? I waited until I got home, and later that evening, I wrote her a short letter, telling her about Elijah and then told her, if she'd like to see pics or to know more about him, to let me know. I was more than happy to be able to connect with her, and I prayed that she would be too. And, he did have to have heart surgery when he was 10 months old. All of the cost involved with his medical care would have fallen on his parents, and knowing they didn't have the means for that, giving him up may have been their only choice. If they couldn't pay for the surgery, he would have died. (Here's an article about Russia's healthcare system in 2016, 10 years after Elijah was born. https://www.newsweek.com/2016/12/02/dire-russia-health-care-523380.html

I brought Elijah home in 2009. He was beautiful and perfect, and still is! He is happy, and goes to school and has friends. (He would not have been able to go to school, in Russia). As I watched him run into school the other day, holding a pinwheel and laughing as it twirled, I thanked God for him. I still can't believe that I get to be his Mama. I am honored, and I am so very happy that I can share him with his birth mother,his brothers, and his birth father. The fact that they get to watch him grow up through the years, and share in his milestones, I hope makes them feel better about having to give him up. He is happy and he is loved. Happy 10th Gotcha day, Elijah! We all love you!