LIFE

I can't believe it's almost December and I haven't posted since October. I find myself more on FB or Instagram more, and neglecting my blog. I keep thinking I need to write some posts with real meaning or some thoughts that I would like someone to know one day, while I'm gone, but instead I get on here and post a bunch of pics because I'm in a hurry to get done. :( Life has been busy, but busy with appointments and sick kids. The holidays are coming quickly and I haven't got much shopping done. The last 7 school days in a row I have had at least one child home sick. I am hoping tomorrow to get some shopping done. I don't work full time anymore. I miss it a lot, but I really don't know how I got anything done when I did. There were days, when I came home and ran without stopping until bedtime. I got no time with the boys, and everything was done in a rush. I was going through the motions but not being able to enjoy the moments. Once I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomina, it made the days so incredibly hard to get through. To be honest, by the time I got home, I was getting a second wind. But, during the day at school, I was struggling to stay awake. I was completely exhausted, from about 11:00 am until 2:00 pm. That's the main part of my day that I was hit with unbearable tiredness. I went from working lunch duty, to sleeping through my lunch. When the bell would ring after lunch, I wanted to cry, because I knew that the next two hours or more, I would be struggling to stay awake. It was hell. And what made it worse, was I had no idea why I was feeling that way. It didn't matter how much sleep I got, or if I got a nap in. I never felt better. I wasn't diagnosed until about 6 months or so after I resigned from teaching. So now, that I have a diagnosis, there still isn't any help for it. I did a sleep study and it was done really to rule out sleep apnea. I was prescribed a cpap, because there is some data that shows it has helped others with my diagnosis. But, it doesn't help much. I did discover on my own, that if I try and cut most carbs out of my system, that I am a little more energized during the day. And that has been the one thing that I can do for myself. Not working full time, has been such a blessing. It has helped me be able to pace myself, rest if I need to, and most importantly be the mom that I want to be for my boys. I used to stress so much when they got sick. Afraid to miss too much work, but wanting so badly to be home with my sick baby. I had so much guilt when I missed a program at school, or sent them to school, praying they would make it through the day. Now if they are feeling poor, I am able to let them stay home, cuddle them, take them to the doctor if needed. No stress, just being able to care for them the way that they need and deserve. It's just me, so really this time with them, has been like I said, such a blessing. One thing I know, is that I am truly happy. Blessed more than I deserve. Thank you Jesus.