My Teddy Bear

I made one of the absolute hardest decisions of my life, on Monday. I had to let Teddy go. He had lost all use of his back legs, and he was holding his urine, to avoid urinating on himself (The vet concluded this after an x-ray of his bladder.) He was in pain, I guess he was always in some amount of pain, while we had him. I gave him something for his joints, he had been on prednisone for a bit, I tried cbd oil, always hoping something would work, better than the last. We only had him for 6 months, but that 6 months forever changed me. Our lifestyle changed when Teddy came home. He was almost blind, and hard of hearing. It was hard for him to get up and move. So, we had to make sure nothing was in his path that would cause him to trip. He used to try and get out of the way when we came up to him, but learned that if he just laid there, we would walk around him. Our house is small and Teddy was 75 lbs. so we were always walking over and/or around him. None of this was bothersome, but my point is, aside from his loving good nature, there are so many things about him, that I am grieving. He would come into the kitchen around 3 pm every day and kinda give me that look, that meant he was ready for dinner. LOL I shredded his boiled chicken and mixed it with some small kibble. He didn't have many teeth, so his food was specially prepared, so to speak. He always wanted to be in the same room with me, so if I went to sit in my room on the bed, he would walk in and bark at me, until I came out with him. I thought it was the cutest thing. Sometimes, I would be in the bathroom and come out to find him barking at my bed. (Like I said, his eye sight was not so good. LOL) I would yell to him, and say: Teddy, I'm over here! He always cracked me up! He could not go down steps so well and with his poor eye sight, he did his business on the deck. And every day, I would go out and clean it up. I didn't mind, I just loved caring for him. I miss him so much! :( I have never let a dog sit by me at dinner time. Except for Teddy. Every night, he happily came to the table beside me, and every night I gave him some of what I was eating. I would tease him and tell him, he was only getting away with it, because he was 13 years old. I miss that too. I miss everything about him. He was loved, but he loved back even more. My heart hurts. I love you Teddy Bear, I will see you again one day, I promise.