December

This month went fast. Our Christmas tree was put up in November, so we didn't have to do that this month. But, we did do a lot of other things. First off, we celebrated Christmas with Ben and Shelby, since they were moving to Mississippi on the 17th. Then, we went to the annual Ds Christmas party. The boys were excited to see Santa, and as always, we had a great time.

Then Jimmy, Caleb and I went to A Night in Bethlehem at our church. We enjoyed ourselves, the activities and the animals, and also the program in church. Next off, was picking Uncle Sean up from the airport. He spent a week with us, and we frosted cookies again, along with looking at lights, going out to lunch, and just having a good time together. It was sad to see him go. Caleb, Liam and Elijah also went on their school's annual Christmas shopping trip at the mall. They had fun,

and Caleb and Elijah saw Santa again.

Just a few more days until Christmas!

Sweetest picture ever.

Such a friendly little donkey!

Herding sheep

Waiting for Uncle Sean, to arrive.

Milo has cancer

I don't even know how to begin this post. I've never had a dog with cancer. I wish I had known the signs. He had a growth inside his cheek that I wasn't aware of until I could see it protruding from the outside of his cheek. He had developed some bad breath a couple months ago, which I had attributed to his teeth. They need to be cleaned, but the vet said we could wait until after the holidays. He also was opening his mouth very slowly from time to time, and that was the same thing that Teddy did, before he had his dental cleaning and some teeth removed. So, once again, I thought it was because of his teeth. Once, I discovered the growth, I got him in to the vet right away. She looked at it, and her face dropped. She told, me it looked like cancer. The following day, we had it removed, and a smaller one that was found behind it, as well. They sent it off to be biopsied. It came back as cancer. Malignant Melanoma is very aggressive, and to make matters worse, she was unable to get all of it. So where, do we stand from here? Well, we brought Milo home and Operation Spoil Milo has begun. His prognosis is that he has a 50% chance of living 7-15 months more. That is better than I had feared. So, right now, I am watching him closely, paying attention to any and all behaviors that may seem abnormal for him. So far, he is doing great, playing and being his sweet self. He is eating rice and boiled chicken for his meals, with an occasional can of dog food when he wants it, and peanut butter and treats as well. He has a comfy bed right next to the Christmas tree and we are giving him lots of hugs and love. He is a special dog, and we know that God chose him for us. We adore him and thankful for every day that we get to have him with us.

Before, his diagnosis. 

You can see the growth in his right side of his cheek.

Right after surgery. 

Feeling much better.

All snuggled up. 

Happy Birthday Jimmy!

So, Jimmy is 32 years old. He said he's a grandpa now, and an old man! LOL I will tell you who feels old. Me! I can't believe it's been 32 years already. Jimmy has sure made an impact on my life in such an amazing way. He's my hero, and my best friend. The reason I became a special education teacher. The reason I adopted 3 times! Because of him, three little brothers sleep across the hall from him. They adore him! We celebrated with cake and ice cream. If you know Garth, you'll understand Jimmy's cake. Then we went to Buddy's pizza and celebrated some more! Happy Birthday Jimmy! We love you so much!

Fall

I love this time of year! Got Halloween out of the way, and now we're on our way to Thanksgiving and then Christmas. First, we have Jimmy's birthday next week. Shelby's was yesterday. And Trigger's is on the 26th. Can't forget that little turd! Here are some pics of carving pumpkins, Halloween pics, taken in our back yard, and a couple of our dogs. We have two huge Maple trees that are absolutely beautiful this time of year!

Rory: Turn around so I can bite the stem some more!

Elijah got his Witch pumpkin!

Mummies, for Jimmy's party at school.

Witch hats for the boys!

Oliver

He's such a cute witch!

Garth

Dr. Caleb Lucas

The Witch

Scooby

Trigger

Happy 16th Birthday Caleb!

I seriously can't believe, that my little fudgie is already 16 years old. And he wants to drive! He is a sophomore in high school and this first picture was taken, right before he went to the Homecoming Dance. He has grown up so much, and I am very proud of the kind and polite person, that he is. Oh, he's still mischievous at times, but for the most part, it's tame compared to how he used to be. LOL

He wanted a new iPad for his birthday. He has been using the same iPad for the last 5 years, and it was a little slow. I was more than happy to surprise him with one. I love you more than you will ever know, my son. Happy Birthday! Love, your very proud Mama

 

A new Otoscope,

 so he can check our ears and throats again!

Milo

The best way to honor Teddy, is to open our hearts to another senior dog, that needs a home.
Meet Milo.
The first picture I saw of Milo, is when an animal advocate posted about him (below). He was on DEATH ROW at a kill shelter. Why? Because he was a stray, who had come in horribly neglected, in need of medical care, and yes, he's a senior (over 7 years old). They named him Fernando, cared for his immediate needs, and put him on Death Row. He had until July 20th to be pulled by a rescue or another shelter. Thank God, this advocate arranged for him to be pulled from death row, and transported to a No-Kill shelter. First however, he was treated by a vet for a while, and when better, he was taken to the new shelter. And, that first picture I saw of him, hurt my heart so much, that I checked that shelter's FB page daily. And, about a week or so later, they announced he needed a home. So I prayed, and then I applied. And I waited for a few weeks. I heard nothing. I followed up with a message, asking if he was still available. A few days later, the shelter messaged me back, and said they couldn't find the application, and could I send it again? YES! So, I sent it again, and after they processed it and checked with our vet, they called and asked if we would like to come and meet "Fernando". Another YES! And we were on our way!

First day HOME.

Milo is still having some skin issues,

  which he is on medication for. 

His hair is slowly beginning to grow back too.

He has such a sweet "sad" face

We love him!

  Home Sweet Home. 

We love you, Milo.

 And we know, that you are here,

 because there once was a very special dog, named Teddy, 

who left his paw prints on our hearts.

Missing Teddy

I hate losing a pet. It's about the hardest thing to go through for me. We do have other animals at home which have made the grieving process a little easier. But, I still find myself browsing the pet finder site hopelessly, looking for "another teddy". I know that I can't get another one that will take the place of him, but I guess I feel, if I adopt another senior Golden, I will have a piece of him with me still. And, then the flood of tears come, And, I question myself, knowing deep inside, I don't want "another Teddy", I want Teddy. :( So as difficult as it is, for me....I am going to get through this. (But, I will say that adopting another senior is very healing, and there are so many out there, that need love desperately. They should be able to live out the rest of their lives, with a family that loves them, and not in a shelter.)

One other thing that I have never mentioned before, is I carry a lot of guilt. Any time you have to put a pet to sleep, that decision weighs on you. And for me, it has been an enormous weight on me. I blame myself, I tell myself that I should have brought him back home, instead of letting them put him to sleep. I replay the last few hours with him, minutes, and seconds. I feel so bad, like I betrayed him.   
My mom shared this online and it really spoke to me,

Dear Mommy,
My last day was quite hard for you
I know it crushed your soul,
But what you did was right for me
Your braveness made me whole!
My body could not carry on
I used up all its play,
And in your heart, you knew it was
To be my final day!
With tears, you took me to our vet
With just a bit of hope,
But everyone agreed with you
My body could not cope!
I felt your arms around me, mom
Your love came shining through,
And as you cried those tears for me
I wanted to help you!
I tried real hard to wag my tail
And kiss you on your face,
For you were sending me to Him
With dignity and grace!
Oh mom, I had a special life
With you right from the start,
As your first kid, I’ll always be
Forever in your heart!
Let Michael and sweet Erin know
That from my cloud above,
I’ll always have my eyes on them
Protecting with my love!
For up here, I can see again
Still bumping into things,
They say it takes a little time
To work these Angel wings!
My body is now full of life
My puppyness is back,
My mind is sharp, my heart is full
There’s nothing that I lack!
Though yesterday was hard for you
I thank you for your choice,
I needed you to do this, mom
You had to be my voice!
With love and licks, Bentley
© Copyright 2018 Amy Comstock


There's a voice inside of me, that tells me I am being foolish. I have friends who have lost a child, and here I am completely distraught over losing my dog. So, I don't tell anyone on social media (other than the time right after he passed) that my grief is overwhelming, me. My blog, however, is mine. No judgment here. I miss him.