Her heartbreak.........My blessing

As I look into my precious boys eyes, I am always amazed at how blessed I am. There was so many hoops to go through to bring them home. Thousands of miles home. But, here they are,........ snuggling into bed, being tucked in by their Mama.....Me.

 

Why not her? Why me? I sometimes wonder how God orchestrates his plans the way he does.

Why did my blessing have to be dependent on her devastation?

Why did she have to endure such sorrow while I get to receive so much joy?

Why did she have to ask......Why God?

Why did I get to say....... thank you Jesus!

One thing I know, is that all three of my boy's birthmothers walked away from them. I can't wrap my mind around that. But, it doesn't mean that these mothers weren't heartbroken. I can't imagine any woman giving life to her child, walking away, and have it not bring her to her knees. I know, it would me. And it probably did them, too.

My question is......how is it that some of us walk this journey of life with an abundance of love and happiness, and some of us have to experience such painful loss?

You may be thinking......but she chose to walk away. She could have brought her little boy home and experienced the same joy and love that I am feeling. Yes, that's true.......or is it?

When I received Jimmy's diagnosis of Down syndrome, I was surrounded by parents, family and my friends, all who supported me and loved Jimmy despite his diagnosis. I had a family come in to my hospital room, who had a daughter with Ds. They shared all the things that she could do, and showed me how happy they were and blessed that she was their daughter. I was encouraged by nurses and nuns who held Jimmy, smiled at him, prayed over him, and told me what a gift he was. I was given so much hope and felt such love, that I knew we were going to be just fine.

But........

Each one of my son's birthmothers did not have that. Instead, she had doctors who told her that her child was a burden. That her child could not learn. That her child was a mistake, a punishment from God. She was strongly encouraged to send her baby away, to people who "knew" how to take care of such children. She was lied too. She may have been told to go home, and try to have another baby......maybe tell her family that this child had died. And if by some small chance she wanted to take her baby home, well, then she would have been looked down upon. No one would help her. She would possibly be shunned by her family. Her husband may leave her. She would be alone.

She is no different than me. I am no different than her.

 

Her heartbreak....................My blessing.

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT