My three Russian tornadoes.....

 

who are also the most precious little guys in the world!

He makes me smile:)

Jimmy being silly for the camera:)

This is Jimmy's drawing of Beauty (Belle) and the Beast. See the wilting rose between them? I love it!

Chosen by Jesus Himself

I am so in love with this sweet boy

It's hard to believe that just 5 short months ago, Liam was living in an institution. When I was going through the adoption process, I knew that my little boy had already turned six and was transferred to an institution. But this is why I was adopting an older child. I wanted to bring home a child that had been given zero hope of ever being adopted. Liam had three strikes against him:

1. He was a boy.
2. He was considered an "older" child.
3. He was disabled.

The majority of families that  adopt, want healthy little girls. Boys are most often left behind. And if you are an "older" boy, you have little hope of being adopted. And if you are a disabled, older boy.......well, you are given "no hope". Liam had no hope. But Liam had an additional strike against him.

4. The caregivers at his orphanage and again at the institution didn't think he was "a good one."

When I first met Liam, I was asked, "WHY, do you want him? We have better kids with Down's than him." (Did they want me to choose a "better one"? Seriously?)

My heart sank when I heard those words. I simply told them that I loved him. I saw potential for him to learn and that I knew he would learn. I told them that it didn't matter to me what he wasn't able to do now.  I told her that those things weren't important.

I loved him. He needed a Mommy. Period.

After that brief conversation, the caregivers appeared more friendly. They smiled with Liam and laughed with him. Did they really think he was not a good one? I don't think so. I really think it's just the perception of disabled individuals in this country. They don't know anything different. These children aren't given a chance in their country to showcase their ability to learn and to love and to show off their talents. These precious children are whisked away to institutions where they locked away and forgotten.

It's like the  little tree in Charlie Brown's Christmas. You know the part, when Linus says, "All it needs is a little love."

Everyone needs love.  And after everything Liam has endured in his little life, he still has this amazing ability to love. Even after all those years when he didn't receive any in return.


We are so blessed to have Liam Josiah in our family.  And just for the record......Liam is the perfect one for us.

 Chosen for us, by Jesus himself.

 It doesn't get any better than that.

Seven years ago today......

I walked into an orphanage in Murom, Russia and scooped up my precious little boy. My third son, my beautiful Caleb Anatoly. It's hard to believe it's been that long ago. He was so small and so dang cute. Now, he's not so small but still pretty dang cute! Caleb has such a passion for life! He is always where the action is, always where the noise is! (He's the one usually making the noise. LOL) I seriously can't imagine this precious boy of mine living in an instituion right now, locked behind closed doors, never being able to go beyond the gates. Even the thought, brings tears to my eyes.

Today, Caleb is 9 years old and is finishing up the 3rd grade. He is reading now. He just loves school! He swims every morning at the high school before he starts his day. He uses a computer. He plays games on it. He can take pictures with it. He loves to take pictures of himself.:) He loves to go into my picture files and look at all of the pictures. One day I walked up when he was on the computer and he was editing my pictures. He likes to change their colors. Little stinker! He loves Max and Ruby and playing outside. And he gives the BEST hugs ever!

I love Caleb more than life itself. This precious boy of mine makes my heart smile. I am so thankful that God trusted me to be his Mama. Caleb, is my beautiful, wonderful, amazing gift from God. Happy Gotcha Day my little man! I love you more every day. :)


This is one of my favorite pictures. This was Gotcha Day June 10, 2005.  LOVE!

I love you sweet boy, to the moon and back!

I didn't feel that way

Every time I read about someone recalling what it was like to give birth to a child with Down syndrome, it makes me want to say, "Hey, wait a minute!" Why? Because they always explain it like this: "It was like the child I had hoped for had died. I had to grieve the child I lost."

And while that is true for many, that is not how it was for me. When we we're thinking about having children, we wanted a healthy child. Period. And that's what we got. So, you're probably wondering, what I did feel when I was told Jimmy had Down syndrome? I instantly felt sad for him, afraid that he would be made fun of. I cried because I didn't want his life to be difficult. I was afraid he wouldn't have friends. And I cried because when the doctors talked about heart defects and such, I was scared to death he may die young. I couldn't imagine it.

So my tears were different. I felt differently than everyone I have ever talked to or read about. I sometimes worry that when young women read when you have a child with Ds,  you will grieve your lost child, that, that may freak them out. Who wants to deal with that nightmare when they give birth? No one, wants to grieve and feel such a  loss when their child is born. So could it have an impact on women deciding whether or not they will abort? I wonder.

I want young women to know that not everyone grieves for a child that they lost. I didn't dream of my child one day becoming a doctor, lawyer, or an awesome athlete. I just wanted a beautiful, healthy child that would be a good person. Period.

When Jimmy was born, I did not realize how much I could love another human being. I loved him more than I ever imagined. A mother's love is so intense, and I felt every bit of that for Jimmy instantly.

So why do many new mother's feel that way? I have no idea. And I am not judging them either. But I felt different.

I just want women out there to know that the birth of a child with Ds can be a happy time.

It is such a joy to have Jimmy in my life. He has taught me patience and to slow down and to enjoy every moment. Laugh and laugh hard. He has taught me, that there is joy and beauty all around us, even when we don't see it..

He lives his life closer to Jesus than anyone I have ever known. Who has a child and then strives every day the rest of her life to be more like that child? Me. Who is so inspired by this child that she changes her dreams of becoming a preschool teacher to become a special education teacher? Me. Who is so overcome with emotion by all of the love that she has received from this child, that she wanted more children with Ds? Me.

And this all began with the beautiful entrance of Jimmy into this world and into my life.

There's ......"More"

It still amazes me that God chose me to walk this journey. And what I mean by that is......being a Mom through both birth and adoption. What a miracle it is.
Life is not about me.....I love that. It's the truth. This life is not what we can make of it for ourselves......it's what we can give to others.  I'll be the first to admit, there was a time that I thought of only myself and what I wanted to have in my life. God knew that He had a lot of work for me to do and if it was going to get done....He would need to ROCK my world! And he did just that! On a cold afternoon, in November of 1986, I gave birth to my oldest son Jimmy.

Now, even with the birth of Jimmy and the fact that he had Down syndrome, it still didn't quite open my eyes to all that God had planned for me. I didn't feel the desire to adopt a child with Ds......yet. God knew, that it would take time. I'm not a fast learner. LOL! He knew that it would take years of transforming my heart to look beyond my own life and my family, and to feel the desire to reach out to others in need. And so, my story evolves.... until one day after becoming a special education teacher (inspired by Jimmy and also part of God's plan) I started feeling that there was more...... more that needed to be done in my life. This could not be all I was supposed to do, could it?

I knew there was still something missing....there was something more. And then, God showed me the children. Not my children, but His children. His children, that by no fault of their own, had been abandoned by their earthly parents. This was not God's plan for them. And this is when I realized what the "more" was, I had been searching for.

In June 2005, Caleb Anatoly became my son.

But God said, "There's more."

In April 2009, Elijah Nikolai became my son.

Once again God said, "There's still more."

In December 2011, Liam Josiah became my son.

And these precious boys along with Jimmy and Ben, are the JOY of my life! I am more happy than I thought I would ever be. Several times a day, I say to myself, "I have the best life!"

Yep, you read that right......I have the best life!
Expensive houses, brand new cars, vacations, cruises.......No, I don't have those things. And still I have the BEST life! Why? Because I found what my "More" was.  And because of this, I have been given God's most precious gifts......my children. I am richer than any millionaire alive. My heart is full, I am so blessed!

My wish for you is that you find the "More" that God has planned for you. It's there, if you just look for it.

With love,

Amy